Insights
Relational Intelligence™, psychology, and leadership insight for couples, entrepreneurial women, and high-capacity leaders.
Every week I publish new essays on Relationships.
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Money Doesn’t Mean the Same Thing to Both of You
“Two people can look at the same financial reality and experience something entirely different—because money carries meaning long before a couple makes a decision about what to do with it.”Two people can look at the exact same amount of money and experience completely...
Entrepreneurial Risk as Relational Risk
“Shared Consequence, Individual Ambition and Decision Authority in Entrepreneurial Partnerships”Entrepreneurship is built around risk. Capital is committed before outcomes are certain. Opportunities require decisions before all the information is available. Time is...
Beyond Accumulation: Wealth, Choice and the Relational Construction of “Enough”
“Financial success can reduce constraint without answering a more consequential question: What is the wealth intended to make possible?”Financial necessity makes many decisions for us. Resources are finite. Obligations are clear. Certain choices simply aren't...
Financial Power in Intimate Partnerships
“Shared money does not automatically create shared power. Financial power is shaped by who can influence what a couple's resources make possible.”Two people can call it our money. Both names may be on the accounts. Both may have access. Major decisions may...
When the Relationship That Worked Before Doesn’t Work Anymore
“As people, roles, responsibilities, and circumstances change, the relationship that once worked beautifully may need to evolve with them.”There is a particularly confusing moment that can happen in a long-term relationship. Nothing is obviously wrong. You still...
Sometimes Resentment Is Grief in Disguise
“Underneath some of our deepest resentments is something we haven't allowed ourselves to mourn.”A couple can have a good life together and still carry grief about the relationship they thought they would have. They may love each other. They may have raised children....
Why Small Disappointments Become Big Resentments
“Most resentment doesn't begin with something life-changing. It begins with ordinary moments that never find repair.”Most resentment doesn't begin with something dramatic. It begins with something forgettable. A promise that slipped. A text that never came. Doing the...
You Thought You Had a Communication Problem
“Sometimes the conversation that hurts the most isn't revealing what's wrong today. It's revealing the relational pattern that's been quietly organizing your relationship for years.”One of the hardest moments in a relationship is not the argument itself. It's the...
Why the Same Conversation Keeps Finding You
“The conversation is not repeating because neither of you is listening. It is repeating because the relational pattern has not changed.”Have you ever found yourself saying: “Didn’t we already settle this?” At first, it seems like a reasonable question. You remember...
Why We Keep Having the Same Conversation
“It may sound like you're arguing about different things. But often you're living inside the same relational pattern wearing different clothes.”Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "We've had this conversation a hundred times." I've heard some...