Insights
Relational Intelligence™, psychology, and leadership insight for couples, entrepreneurial women, and high-capacity leaders.
Why Love Isn’t Enough for Modern Relationships
“The pressures facing relationships today require something deeper.”Most people were given a relatively simple model of how relationships should work. Love someone.Communicate well.Stay committed.Work through conflict. And things should be okay. For many generations,...
Why We Keep Having the Same Conversation
“It may sound like you're arguing about different things. But often you're living inside the same relational pattern wearing different clothes.”Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, "We've had this conversation a hundred times." I've heard some...
Why Awareness Alone Doesn’t Change a Relationship
“Understanding your patterns is where transformation begins. Learning how to create new conversations is where relationships begin to change.”One of the most common things I hear people say is: "I know exactly why I do that." They have done meaningful work on...
When Competence Becomes a Barrier to Intimacy
“The qualities that help us lead, achieve, and care for others can quietly become the very things that keep us from experiencing deeper connection.”There are certain qualities our culture celebrates without hesitation. Competence is one of them. We admire people who...
The Roles We Learn to Play in Relationships
“Many of the ways we show up in love, conflict, leadership, and family were learned as roles long before we experienced them as choice.”Most people assume the way they show up in relationships is simply who they are. They say things like: “I’m just the responsible...
The Stories We Inherit and Mistake for Truth
“Many of our strongest beliefs about love, success, money, and power were inherited long before we examined them.”Most people believe they are making independent decisions. They assume the way they approach relationships, money, success, conflict, responsibility, and...
Why Smart People Repeat the Same Relational Patterns
“Most people assume awareness changes behavior. But patterns often operate beneath awareness until they are intentionally examined.”One of the most frustrating human experiences is this: Knowing exactly what you are doing... And doing it anyway. You promised yourself...
Why Communication Advice Often Fails in Relationships
“Most relationship advice focuses on communication. But communication is often only the symptom.”For years, relationship advice has sounded remarkably consistent. Communicate more.Use “I feel” statements.Listen better.Avoid blame.Validate each other. And to be fair,...
When Money Conversations Become Power Conversations in Relationships
“Financial decisions often reveal deeper relational dynamics.”Money conversations rarely remain about money for very long. They often begin with something practical — a purchase, an investment, a decision about saving or spending. But within a few moments, something...
Repair in Relationships: The Skill Most Couples Were Never Taught
Intimacy grows through repair, not perfection.Many people assume strong relationships are the ones with the least conflict. They picture couples who stay calm, steady, and mostly aligned. People who do not argue much. People who appear to “just work.” But when you...